Co- led class- Emotional Intelligence

I saw the blank slot- all three of them actually so that prompted me to sign up for the class.

As I thought about it, it seemed intimidating at first.  For whatever reason, be it worldview, personality type, age even, or just the age old curse of being really passive [or really shy].  That’s what was my mentality going into the whole thing.  As they say it’s better to be fearful than arrogant and over confident.  Plus working with two more than likely ambitious, motivated, and driven ladies really had me re calibrating the whole situation.

They were great.

Emotional Intelligence was a great opportunity because I’ve been told I possess a decent amount of it and I was curious as to why some would diagnose me as such.  It was an interesting process just learning about EI in this particular setting of leadership because I find emotional intelligence fascinating in general in the relational aspect.  Previous inquiries have told me that women possess a far more greater capacity to be emotionally intelligent than men.  As the two articles were presented I could easily see the primary audience of this topic being men as males [in my strictest opinion] hold most top leadership/ executive roles.  And one of the causes of “derailment” being lack of interpersonal relationships  among male executives, I found this to be an opportune time to observe this phenomenon in a class room of a statistically proven high EI group.

The results were somewhat surprising.

Some of the activities we had planned went according to “plan”, while some others I noticed a more and highly sensitive empathy tactic was deployed.  The most surprising bit being when groups were prompted to vote off a member; the outcast was quite okay and actually advocated for self removal because of the skill set in which they possessed implying that they had the best chances to survive.  A keen framing/ contextual effect was used here and I thought that was awesome.  I don’t think I would have approached it the same way honestly.  There was far less confrontation in this particular stage of the main activity as well [the Relatedness and Fairness sections] than anticipated and expected.  That was the one area I guess we tried to over compensate for.  I felt that Maddie and Amanda did very well as Maddie was the brain trust for most of the ideas behind the activities.  Not to say I wasn’t pulling my load for the class, but it was very clear that she had put considerable thought into the whole matter.  I commend and admire her for that.  Amanda did well as she carried her sections throughout the activity as well.

The class was very receptive to the way and structure the day played out.  All were very cooperative and willing [not to mention very patient] with us, especially me.  I was simply trying to not blow it and hold the group back.  Both and all were kind to me and cared to understand  my role in the whole process.

Overall it was a success and I learned a great deal.

Service learning hours 4 & 5

American Indians in the plight of the early reservation era were considered to be POW’s- that is Prisoners of War.  In fact for much of this country’s history, we were placed under the Department of War before being moved to the Department of the Interior.

We were POW’s before we were recognized as citizens.  Isn’t that something?

There’s power and a certain fascination to that truth.  In fact what is more awesome [if I can use that word loosely] is two things.  The first is that did you know that it took 5,000 foot to ground, butt to saddle United States military men to hunt down and capture 25 Apache warriors led by Geronimo.  5,000 to 25, that’s worth repeating.  And that some of the most feared Indian warriors were the famed Cheyenne Dog Soldiers because legend has it that they once stabbed a pole into the ground and tied themselves to that pole with raw hide, vowing to die tied to that pole fighting and because that was how willing they were to die so that their people could flee for safety from instigators.  That inspired fear from both tribal and non tribal enemies as to say “oh no, we ain’t messing with those guys.”

I learned this in my current Native American Studies class and I thought it would be cool to share with the executive director of the ministry I lead on campus on our way to Denver for our annual summit.

He smiled his gringo smile and said that was “stinking awesome” or something to that effect.  it helped him to appreciate the history of the native peoples of this land and what we  had to endure and overcome.  As a young person I can say that I don’t appreciate our history always, but when I do love learning about it.  That when heard this way, the romanticism is not always hyped up to be what it is.

The lasting effect of this help in paradigm shift helps me to see through a different lens in how I engage and build relationships with students.  Just because we’re on a college campus doesn’t mean we miss our home- unlike much of America.  It means that  we’re a generation or two- if that removed from the abhorrent times of boarding schools and instead of land, we lost people.  It means that we participate in the grief, that when my Navajo friend visits places, he knows that’s where the bloody and infamous “Trail of Tears” ended where he is today.  It’s being authentic and true to our livelihood and preserving the history and striving for the future.

As that week passed by I got to share my story, get hugs and thank yous, got to share insight on how to launch and lead movements on campuses in Brookings, SD and Las Cruces NM and pray over the group.  That was awesome.  Now I’m in the business where people are quoting me.  It was an amazing week.

Next year, I hope, will be even bigger!

service learning hour 3

Intentions mean well.

Authenticity as it turns out can be timely, and never on ‘our’ time as it turns out. 

This is going to be fun for you because I wrote about this person in one of my essays ;)

It started with me wanting it to be “bread truck” Thursday.  That is I just got back from a very enriching, enlightening, but exhausting week in Denver, CO, drove the better part of the whole day Wednesday to get back to Bozeman only to have to prep a lesson for the weekly meeting because the group didn’t feel confident with not having me there to facilitate.  Bread truck Thursday means that there was slight possibility that I was going to be a jet lagged, semi grouch mofo and that I didn’t particularly give a rats you-know-what about what messes and dramas were going on in other people’s lives.  I simply wanted to check out because at this particular moment, being a bread truck driver was much easier and simpler.

I had nothing but freshmen, one of which was overly enthusiastic that he had just joined a bible/ life group without having to do anything but sit there and be a part of the conversation.

As the hour went on, we discussed the story of the Good Samaritan and what it looks like to be a “good neighbor” and so on and so fourth.  However at the beginning one of the three newbies [two girls, one guy] asked for a stick of gum.  As my pack of gum was passed around, it passed over this other girl- not the one who asked but you know, the “other girl”.  Keeping in mind and being well aware of the last week’s reflection I had regarding this person, I tried out my self aware opportunity to reach out to her.

I gently and quietly asked if she’d like a stick of gum and held out my flat palmed hand to see if she wanted some.  She gently scraped the pack of gum out of my hand.  Notice here I was being very inviting in gauging how she’d interact with me as it was the first time I actively engaged her.  She intentionally made physical contact which I suspected and I took that as a good thing as trust and comfort was being built without the dogged implications and ulterior intentions that could be had in an interaction like this.

As the meeting drew near I asked if anybody needed prayer.  All the kids opened up like a flood gate.  The asked for prayer for family and loved ones, asked for prayer for strength to continue on with the rigorous and hectic college life.  Not really participating in the hour long discussion at all, the victory came at the end.  They really opened up and jotted us down in their weekly planner because the simple prayer made that much of a difference for them and that this is why they came to hang out, to feel like being in a community.

As this person asked for prayer, she asked “how do you cope?”  meaning how do I cope with having to be an adult, being away from home, and having to take responsibility for myself.  I smiled and replied “as long as you’re here on this campus, you’re always trying to cope.”  She smiled, said thank you, and felt more at peace as I did pray for her coping skills.

Being bold happens a lot quicker than I think and I thank God that it was in a safe environment.   This is what service means too.   I’m glad I didn’t decide to be a bread truck driver that evening.

service learning hour 2

We all long for a good love story.

Beauty and the Beast.  The Great Gatsby.  Jane Eyre and Rochester.  It almost seems to be ever so clear in our everyday fairy tale.   We love, it seems, the ‘forbidden fruit’.  That we’ll fall madly in love.  In literature, we call a good ending a comedy and a bad ending a tragedy.

Recently there was an opportunity for me to get to know a student while walking her home at night.  It was here on campus.  As we walked I learned just how complicated an Ipad 2 can be, what kinds of music this girl liked to listen to [it was Michael Jackson one moment and something like Fallout Boy the next moment.], where and how this girl came to be.  Then I asked her how she thought she was adjusting to her very first semester in college.  As it turns out, the storyline was similar as most American Indian students; she came she felt, by pure accident and it surprised her to walk and admit that.  She had grown up in a foster home with her grandmother until the age of 14 until her grandmother had passed and since then had been couch surfing to different friends and relatives’ home living on her own ever since then.  Then she mentioned having to graduate high school a year later than most and commented that “I don’t what other’s think or say.  It may have taken me an extra year, but I got it done.”

Interestingly enough and somewhat semi- surprising she then told me something that I had become accustomed to hearing and as sad as it is, it gave me hope.  “I was raped as a little girl by some of my relatives.”  I walked about a good ten steps before I could even say anything and when I did I said “I’m really sorry about that.”

What does this have to do with service?

  As the weeks have gone on, this student has become very affectionate in our interactions.  She longs to show me her pardon my language but- “bitchin” Captain America t- shirt and ridiculous sweater that has a hood that comes over her face looking just like Capt.  She loves to show off her Ipad [and take sneaky pics that’ll catch you completely off guard as it turns out] and she sits there week in and week out at our Nations meeting meddling between her phone and Ipad.  She doesn’t say much but it’s been reported to me that she really likes our group and enjoys the people.

I decided to take a risk one week and asked her if she’d be willing to read the scripture from the bible that I was planning to use for the group discussion that day for the weekly meeting.  All but too excited she jumped at the opportunity.  As I was trying to recommend a website to her, keeping in mind that she would opt for the Ipad, she stopped me and pulled out a paper back bible, proud to show it off.  Taken aback I said ok and flipped through to the passage and with her instructions highlighted the parts I wanted her to read.

She likes to talk about boys, but I like to think that this little tidbit that is ours, will help her to realize a overwhelming and transformative love story that she’s already apart of and how it’s affecting her story.