I wanted to throw that cat tracker in the burning barrel.
I can be honest. And for the record, my grade point average while a student here at Montana State University is a 1.99 Care to judge me now?
After some serious epistemological and reflective thought, I had a profound realization. Ever wonder why you never liked brussel sprouts? Those arrogant, detached, self centered Americans? Ever not like getting a face full of something you felt like you never deserved in the first place?
For me, it has nothing to do with quadrants, getting the ball rolling, a sense of accomplishment, or being cross- culturally sensitive to time obligations. For well over 500 years, we natives have offended everything from chief executive to squirrels with our understanding to time. It has to do with roles.
The reason I so vehemently despise, spite, and detest the color coded pencil parties with day planners and organizations [trust me innumerable allies, friends, and colleagues have religiously tried to get me to love and appreciate aforesaid methods] is because my first role was- caregiver.
I was a caregiver.
Starting at the age of fourteen I began to learn how to sacrifice sleep, study times, social/ recreational engagements, and personal leisure. My grandmother in rapid declining health required all and prodigious care. That task was split between me and my grandfather. We would take turns driving my grandma to the dialysis center 3 days a week- that meant sometimes I would be up at 4am shoveling snow off the porch, warming the van, packing the traveling bag, and then driving 80 miles round trip in time to get back to the house so I could get ready for school. That meant some nights I would lie awake listening to my grandmother rock herself in the squeaky chair listening to make sure she didn't go into diabetic shock because her blood pressure was extremely low and often times required the EMT's to visit the house and haul her up to the hospital off the reservation. It meant I would wake up in night tremors because I felt my adolescence and romantic love interest curious as to why she never could come visit and hang out with me and why I never took her out properly. It meant that when my grandfather came home stressed out from his job because he wasn't getting the proper respect at work from the men under him only to come home to the ailing woman he loved with all his heart who was dying from being a type II diabetic, loosing function in both kidneys, and needing triple bypass heart surgery just to see if she could qualify to be on the donor list for kidney- he needed somebody to take it out on me and I willingly and lovingly took the punishment if it meant that he felt like a man in his own home.
I did that and it helped save lives. I didn't have the luxury of quadrant I, II, III, or IV. I never planned for anything because duty and love never permitted it. If I wanted to love my grandmother to her last breath it meant that I would organize my life around hers. I looked shaggy, I never matched, my room was always messy, and I never strayed too far away from home.
Do I regret it? Not at all. I lovingly and willingly accepted my role as a caregiver. Do I suffer from it? Absolutely.
I hate cat trackers, planners, and calenders.
But I'd like to give them a try :)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
9/19 readings- emotional intelligence
It's called mirroring.
I was first introduced to this idea when I was learning from the philosopher Immanuel Kant. I began to become fascinated by body language when I learned it was quite popular by pick up artists and more times than not, basic instruction for men to study flirting and interest in their would be love affairs with women.
In the leadership world?
Teresa Taylor said she like to entertain debates at executive meetings as she gathered and interpreted "reads" from all those involved before deciding which course to take and where to intervene. The SCARF model teaches leaders to employ empathy, attunement, intentionality to mirror another person to get on their wavelength. There was a perfect example just the other day.
I playfully approached a usually bubbly and playful friend and peer. As I gently tapped her on the head with a packet of some sort, she immediately lashed out and said "that's mean" Instinctively she recoiled in realization of her self awareness that may have offended my harmless attempt to engage her. Not threatened I immediately "read" her body language- her body symmetry, posture, threat triggers/ responses [legs and arms crossed, palms up or down indicative of perceived hostility or submission, where she was looking- which was down [felt guilty, etc] and then I moved on.] I then lowered myself lower then her- actually slumped lower than her so that she would know that I was not going to proceed aggressively or in a hostile manner, then I began to ask how her day was going. Math was the immediate problem, one exam on top of another in a Lifespan HHD class, which led to a fussy baby and a less than willing spouse to help with the fussy baby that cut into studying for these exams, all is which I sat there and listened. Can't say that it made the situation better, but it did improve my friends mood and using the neuron mirroring method helped and hoped to jolt enthusiasm into this young mama and young wife. She smiled a little shy smile and went back to work with more determination than the previous hours allowed her to.
grinding out the time and work of a leader is never ending, but that's why I guess I love it.
I was first introduced to this idea when I was learning from the philosopher Immanuel Kant. I began to become fascinated by body language when I learned it was quite popular by pick up artists and more times than not, basic instruction for men to study flirting and interest in their would be love affairs with women.
In the leadership world?
Teresa Taylor said she like to entertain debates at executive meetings as she gathered and interpreted "reads" from all those involved before deciding which course to take and where to intervene. The SCARF model teaches leaders to employ empathy, attunement, intentionality to mirror another person to get on their wavelength. There was a perfect example just the other day.
I playfully approached a usually bubbly and playful friend and peer. As I gently tapped her on the head with a packet of some sort, she immediately lashed out and said "that's mean" Instinctively she recoiled in realization of her self awareness that may have offended my harmless attempt to engage her. Not threatened I immediately "read" her body language- her body symmetry, posture, threat triggers/ responses [legs and arms crossed, palms up or down indicative of perceived hostility or submission, where she was looking- which was down [felt guilty, etc] and then I moved on.] I then lowered myself lower then her- actually slumped lower than her so that she would know that I was not going to proceed aggressively or in a hostile manner, then I began to ask how her day was going. Math was the immediate problem, one exam on top of another in a Lifespan HHD class, which led to a fussy baby and a less than willing spouse to help with the fussy baby that cut into studying for these exams, all is which I sat there and listened. Can't say that it made the situation better, but it did improve my friends mood and using the neuron mirroring method helped and hoped to jolt enthusiasm into this young mama and young wife. She smiled a little shy smile and went back to work with more determination than the previous hours allowed her to.
grinding out the time and work of a leader is never ending, but that's why I guess I love it.
9/14 readings- public speaking
Breech cloth.
I said I liked a challenge, but after learning one of the cardinal toast master virtues was preparation, I really understood what challenge I was getting myself into.
This is all to say that if there was a decent first impression, I would like to impress on the known world that I would be the Duke of breech cloths. It's ridiculous, but so is imagining everybody in nothing but their underwear. But then again, a lot of people fear public speaking more than they do death. Communication skills count for everything. Effective communication leads to effective leadership. Being a figurehead of an organization- pulling double duty as leader and poster child mind you- I can honestly say that public speaking is the trade of the job.
I test most wording and phrasing before putting it out there for the world to see. Words count for everything. For instance when I want volunteers I say "I understand what sacrifices you are all making as students, parents, folks who hold down jobs, but this project is as ambitious as you make it to be. It can be as big as you allow it to be." For fundraisers I use the "If we want to reach, transform, and touch lives, we invest and be good stewards of the time treasures, and talents we see worth investing in. What you're supporting allows us to do this and goes to more than just one cause and benefits more people you can imagine."
I know I've half way decently done my job when I'm greeted with a warm smile and somebody will say to me "I feel like I know you."
I said I liked a challenge, but after learning one of the cardinal toast master virtues was preparation, I really understood what challenge I was getting myself into.
This is all to say that if there was a decent first impression, I would like to impress on the known world that I would be the Duke of breech cloths. It's ridiculous, but so is imagining everybody in nothing but their underwear. But then again, a lot of people fear public speaking more than they do death. Communication skills count for everything. Effective communication leads to effective leadership. Being a figurehead of an organization- pulling double duty as leader and poster child mind you- I can honestly say that public speaking is the trade of the job.
I test most wording and phrasing before putting it out there for the world to see. Words count for everything. For instance when I want volunteers I say "I understand what sacrifices you are all making as students, parents, folks who hold down jobs, but this project is as ambitious as you make it to be. It can be as big as you allow it to be." For fundraisers I use the "If we want to reach, transform, and touch lives, we invest and be good stewards of the time treasures, and talents we see worth investing in. What you're supporting allows us to do this and goes to more than just one cause and benefits more people you can imagine."
I know I've half way decently done my job when I'm greeted with a warm smile and somebody will say to me "I feel like I know you."
Readings 9/12- dialogue and code of conduct
Camelot?
Reverberating, refreshing, necessary. A code of conduct means more nowadays and amplifies the medieval vernacular more so. Dialogue is so rare, but since its becoming much more relevant, it surely has become a tapestry of art. Richard Anderson likes subjects,verbs, and objects. Teresa Taylor likes everything to be on one calender. . . please.
Nick Ross? He likes interruptions.
Oh hello, there my name is Nicholas Edward Ross-Dick- and despite the fact that my what my initials spell, I am what Katy Perry calls an E.T. - Extra Terrestrial. You know me from the tiny excerpts from your United States history book. I've been irrelevant elsewhere however- socially, corporately, economically, everything-ly.
Dear Richard Anderson CEO of Delta Airlines and Teresa Taylor CEO of Qwest Communications,
I am an American Indian. blah blah blah blah and blah.
Get the picture? At this point the stigma for either of these executives would arouse a rather intense and speculative fascination and curiosity. They might wonder why, who, and how I might have managed my way up the cooperate ladder. And since we're on the topic of dialogue and code of conduct, the novelties, the wonderful resumes, the objects, the verbs, and the subjects, the fitting of all life onto one calender, would be a severe cultural misnomer.
. . . In closing Mr. Anderson and Ms. Taylor, I regret to inform you that despite me applying for a wonderful opportunity in your [respective] organization, you cannot imagine a world with me in it and I'm afraid you're not ready for someone like me to exist in your organization.
Sincerly,
Nick
p.s. I believe future correspondences will further allow me to dialogue with you. Thank you again for your patience.
Reverberating, refreshing, necessary. A code of conduct means more nowadays and amplifies the medieval vernacular more so. Dialogue is so rare, but since its becoming much more relevant, it surely has become a tapestry of art. Richard Anderson likes subjects,verbs, and objects. Teresa Taylor likes everything to be on one calender. . . please.
Nick Ross? He likes interruptions.
Oh hello, there my name is Nicholas Edward Ross-Dick- and despite the fact that my what my initials spell, I am what Katy Perry calls an E.T. - Extra Terrestrial. You know me from the tiny excerpts from your United States history book. I've been irrelevant elsewhere however- socially, corporately, economically, everything-ly.
Dear Richard Anderson CEO of Delta Airlines and Teresa Taylor CEO of Qwest Communications,
I am an American Indian. blah blah blah blah and blah.
Get the picture? At this point the stigma for either of these executives would arouse a rather intense and speculative fascination and curiosity. They might wonder why, who, and how I might have managed my way up the cooperate ladder. And since we're on the topic of dialogue and code of conduct, the novelties, the wonderful resumes, the objects, the verbs, and the subjects, the fitting of all life onto one calender, would be a severe cultural misnomer.
. . . In closing Mr. Anderson and Ms. Taylor, I regret to inform you that despite me applying for a wonderful opportunity in your [respective] organization, you cannot imagine a world with me in it and I'm afraid you're not ready for someone like me to exist in your organization.
Sincerly,
Nick
p.s. I believe future correspondences will further allow me to dialogue with you. Thank you again for your patience.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
readings 9/7/2011
Sheryl Sandberg won’t ever really mean anything to me. I can admit that. Does that make me sexist? I hope not. Do I admire her and respect her as a person and what she’s doing? Absolutely. The great majority of my leadership experiences are the result of the support and loyalty of women. You know, mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers. When asked about a leader and actions this person took to lead me, I named a woman. Wiki lists Sandberg’s accomplishments as working with Treasury Secretary Larry Summers, holding a senior position at Google, meeting Mark Zuckerberg at a party, being listed in the top 20 of the “50 most powerful women in business”. I come from a matriarchal culture and family, you’d be hard pressed to find me saying that I don’t love and appreciate women.
When I came across the man in Australia who would bring potential suicide victims in for tea or the war veteran who organizes ‘Buddy Bowl’ to help soldiers cope with combat stress and fatigue I thought “who does that?” It could be because Don Rithcie knows what it feels like to be lonely or because Nico Marcolongo knows what it feels like to be un appreciated or ignored., beyond conventional medicine. I know women in the flesh- wives, mothers; who have felt like this- un appreciated, ignored, lonely. That means a lot more to me. Yes I love the leadership and initiative because it fully encompasses service.
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